Dating should be fun and respectful. Marriage is then the icing on the cake. Graduating from dating means spending some quality life years with someone, hoping to stay, love together, and have great kids!
One must admit that cheating is not just a show of disrespect for your partner or a breach of vows at the time of marriage. Why would you cheat on someone you took to the altar? With all the beautiful family members and friends cheering you on when you walked down the aisle,?
Photo: Pexels.com
Can we then conclude that cheating happens when there is no more love, respect, or proper communication? If you love someone, it will never cross your mind to take advantage of him or her. No one on earth needs to be cheated on for any reason. If not, why did you get into a relationship with your partner in the first place?
You may be reading this article because you have begun to suspect your partner of some behavioural changes, such as changes in your partner’s dressing, a swift change of looks, likes for a new kind of fragrance, loss of attention and attraction in your interests, lack of intimacy, and more. These are a few triggers to watch out for before one can begin to investigate if the red flags are truly genuine.
Cheating does not only affect partners; partners alone, however, can have ripple effects extending to your children, family and work. We will discuss seven clear ways to spot a cheating partner and what you have to do afterwards.
Firstly, changes in appearance, attitude and response.
Your partner starts to give you short answers to open questions. He or she suddenly distances himself or herself from you with the excuse of being tired, but he or she would rather go to the mall, gym, or park, which means this area is of great priority to him or her.
Is she now secretive?
That is a big red flag to watch. Telling someone your secrets, worries, or ideas means you trust the person. First, to keep your secret and second, to advise you when needed. If she is the one cheating, it could be because of guilt. Worry not, speak to her and draw her attention of her sudden change in communication style.
Reduced Intimacy.
During your dating, you were all over each other and would not let literally the air come between you two. Now, she no longer shares her deepest thoughts with you. He also might always stay longer hours at the workplace, which you know is not usual. She loses interest in anything that has to do with her man. He also tends to compliment women when any opportunity presents itself, whether when watching television or reading a magazine.
There were no more responses in the argument.
Yes, arguments and little fights spice up marriage and relationships. If she no longer responds like she did in the past and is now all by herself, please take notice. Before, your every move triggered some discussions that helped to grow and strengthen your relationship; now, that is no longer the case.
No more interested in family.
Before, he was concerned about your kids’ welfare, including their school fees, upkeep, etc. Try to find out if there has been some major financial decline in his work. Otherwise, look closer; the devil might be in the details.
Attention to phone or electronic devices
With the advent of technology, we will notice the decline of quality communication, however a partner that really loves you will find time, make time for you. He is always on the phone or the internet for minutes and hours? That must be a concern. Communication is as vital to relationships as air is to the survival of humans. Try asking what is it that makes him to giggle whiles on the phone, if that triggers some quality communication, great! Else take the sudden notice of his interest to phone.
Chronic lateness
She always has an excuse for coming home late. Even when you both agreed to go out that evening or night. Her excuses are not solid but trivial. He also might tell you to meet her elsewhere when you love to be with your man move from home and head to your desired location. You miss him opening the door for you to sit in the car.
There are countless triggers to look out for in a cheating partner, however the above are major keys. So, the question now is, what do you do when you realise your partner has been cheating all this while?
First is the question, Do I still love my partner? If yes, are you ready to work at it? Would you consider seeking professional help? Do you also feel your partner has admitted to cheating and is ready to seek help? These are a few questions to consider, then you will know your next move. Should your partner admit to cheating and seek forgiveness, do forgive. However, assist your partner in recovery. One will ask how? You can both know your phone passwords and pick up each other’s phone when it rings. Share stories about whether someone at work or at work tried flirting with you during the day. This measure helps to mitigate any future occurrences of cheating. You become each other’s keeper. Together, seek a professional if need be and follow thoroughly with the lesson provided.
Now, if you decide you are no longer interested in your partner after finding out he or she cheated, remember that you are adults and not enemies. Sit down with your partner and spell our reasons you feel the marriage must come to an end. Remember, when children are involved, extra care must be taken so as not to make them feel “orphan”. If you are married, seek a professional lawyer to properly initiate the divorce process. If it is only dating, then respectfully call it over.
Cheating is an unhealthy act, and I believe the above pointers will guide you in making the right choice or making a good decision when you find your partner cheating.
